(Author) Counsel
Here's the story: I accidentally let some sensitive information my managing attorney had shared with me slip in a conversation with an internal client; this made my boss look bad, and his anger at me is completely justified. It was an honest slip, not poorly intended, but I was in the wrong. And I’ve been working super hard to get back in his good graces after he got (less) upset with me a month ago for something I think was unfairly attributed to me, but which I didn’t fight him on. I generally get good reviews and am given lots of autonomy, so I don’t think I’m a screw up. I've been in this job for 1.5 years with only those two issues. But my boss is livid and I’m afraid I’ve lost his trust for a long while. He was very heated while still being professional - I know him, and that was basically the equivalent of him yelling. I don’t blame him at all for his frustration with me.
For those who answer, how much do you feel those experiences shaped your future with your firm, and your boss’ trust in you?
General Counsel Responses:
- I am perplexed by stories such as this. People do make mistakes and you are correct that there is a loss of trust that you will have to re-earn. Okay, that happens. But the anger that comes out as yelling and chewing out is a result of the power dynamic. Some feel entitled to yell at a subordinate. That is not okay. Don’t let this become something you get used to.
- I filed discovery (instead of serving it). I was a first year and didn’t know the difference. It was embarrassing for the firm. The senior associate on the case stuck his neck out for me, talked to the partner, and took responsibility. (It really wasn’t his fault.) I never forgot that moment and it still drives me to this day. “Accept blame, deflect credit.” 16 years later, the senior associate is still a good friend of mine. Don’t ever scream at anyone, even if only for the selfish reason that it’s not going to get you what you want. And don’t tolerate being screamed at.
Counsel Responses:
- Lawyers are so ego driven and self protective people will tend to tell you stories where they did okay in the end or that makes them look good - “‘you’re just too thorough!’- my boss said."
Attorney and Associate Responses:
- Working in a small insurance defense firm, I mis-billed something (which was reasonable for a first year) and the managing partner screamed at me upon reviewing the bills "How many thousands of dollars are you trying to cost me!?" I assumed it was a rhetorical question, but he kept pressing me for an answer, so I said, "uhh...none?" He was not pleasant to work for.
- Honestly, I learned some valuable lessons and never made those mistakes again (I just made some new ones 😆). It did not impact my career in the long run. I think that’s because I took responsibility, worked to fix the issue, and communicated to my supervisor that I really was sorry. Have you thought about having a conversation with your boss? Not in a confrontational way, just to clear the air and ask him what you can do to regain trust/fix the issue.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The fact that you are still upset about it means you care and I’m sure your boss recognizes that. And the fact that you take responsibility for it is huge. And yes, i’ve gotten “yelled at” (either literally or been talked to) several times in my 9 year career. I’ve forgotten to calendar deadlines (caught it just barely in time), forgot to send out notice for a hearing, and had clients get mad at me in front of my supervisor. And if anyone tells you they haven’t, they’re lying.
In-house? Be a part of the conversation on Fishbowl (anonymous).
